Why?

What type of person am I? Well, to give an example, it’s 1:35 in the morning, and I’m typing this as I listen to “Do You Bleed?” by Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL, a song from the disappointing Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice movie.

Wait; now it’s “Dirty Martini” by David Arnold and Nicholas Dodd from Casino Royale, which was good except for the unnecessary conflict.

This was probably a very cliche way to start, so let me make it even more cliche. My name is Cesar Ruiz de Castilla. I’m an ambitious Junior who has just started Summer off to an okay start. For starters, today (or I guess yesterday) was my girlfriend’s birthday!!! Happy Birthday, Caitlyn!!! She probably is going to be the only person to read this in a while, which is totally okay because she is my other half 🙂 Yes I’m young and it sounds weird to say, but we compliment each other in ways I cannot explain. More on that later.

Back to the start of Summer: I also taught Camila, my 6-year-old sis, how to ride a bike! On her own! That was cool.

But I wasn’t really productive. Which brings me to why I’m starting this blog: I just ended a horrible Junior year. Not much went my way! To begin with, you have to get a picture of who I am: I like doing a lot, but I get distracted easily because I get bored easily. But I am hardworking, and I try and do what I can to make a change and to prepare myself for the future. I want to change the world, which is very ambitious. That’s where the name of this blog comes from:

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. -Henry David Thoreau

(I love this song: “One Summer’s Day” by Joe Hisaishi, from Spirited Away. Great movie.)

The problem is I don’t like getting caught up in the details, or in the action; I like going big, or going nowhere at all. And I guess that happened this year. I have always had A’s for high school, until the second semester, when Drama Company, International Night, SMOB, exams, IA’s (I’m in IB; it sucks) and homework gave me 4 B’s. I was, and still am pretty devastated: I was going to be the class Valedictorian.

Then there was National Spanish Honors Society. I was the President! First time, first year! And I got Hispanic Heritage Night done in three weeks, which was great (it was a societal effort)! I helped plan International Night from the beginning, and when the girl leading it quit, I took charge w/Caitlyn! We raised over 750 dollars for Syrian Refugees!

And then there were re-elections and I got kicked out.

I tried running for NHS Treasurer, but I lost. I tried running for the Student Member of the Board (SMOB), and I put my heart and soul into it because I desperately wanted to represent the minority population, especially the ESOL kids, which were the only demographic in the county that had an increased dropout rate and a decreased graduation rate. But I lost that too.

I started a debate team, and I poured hours into essays that got us to the top 32 Internationally! But no further. I auditioned for the lead Hispanic role in West Side Story (Bernardo) only to get some ensemble member (Pepe). I created a science team, and that was cool! But it stagnated because of school.

And then there’s the social aspect. I started the school year with an amazing group of friends, and my girlfriend even became part of that group too! But then stress, school, and misunderstandings hit, and now it’s just me and Cait. Which isn’t bad! But it’s kind of demoralizing; I even lost my best friend.

So I wanted to take a fresh start in my life. I need to be grounded: solidified somewhere, have something where the details and the mess do matter, where I don’t ever forget again what I need to work on to get where I want to go. Because yes this school year was bad, but that’s largely due to me: I slacked off at times where I shouldn’t have. I let things get to a point where they were almost irreparable. It didn’t have to end this way, but it did, and that is my fault.

So this blog is supposed to keep me there. I have my girlfriend to help me, and she does, in ways that I could never be able to thank her for. But we’re the protagonists of the story, and now we need to act like we have an audience. Or at least I do anyway; Caitlyn is always on top of things, and she’s the best person I know ^_^ Because yes, the world may care what I think about, but only my actions matter. So it’s time I get them done.

This blog is the story of how I put those foundations under the castles I have made in the air.

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